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Motherhood and Fear

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May 072013

Most mothers (including myself) have had to deal with fears when it comes to our children. It is a very common emotion from the very moment you find out you are pregnant and especially when you first hold your baby in your arms. Our fear comes in all shapes and sizes and can hit us in any place or moment. I remember right after my oldest was born, I struggled with some of the worst fears I had ever experienced in my life. I couldn’t stop thinking about what “could” happen to him. I find that now my fears come when I wake in the middle of the night and start to think about something going on in one of my children’s lives. It is a real downward spiral from there if I don’t stop and do something about it quickly.

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The only way I have found to combat these fears is to pray and to meditate on scripture that helps me fight this battle against fear. A few verses that I find myself running to are:

“In the night I remember your name, O Lord.” Psalm 119:55

“For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” Isaiah 41:13

“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” Hebrews 13:6

Fear is defined as “a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.” Most of the things I fear are of the imagined kind but the emotions I feel are no less real than if there was a true danger about to occur.

Then sometimes our fears are realized and we are faced with the reality that we live in a sin stained world. I’ve faced fear when losing a child in a crowded Disney World at closing time, fear at losing a toddler at a park near a lake, finding out my child has type 1 diabetes that will affect her the rest of her life, fears when my teenagers drive around in the car late at night and many others. Life is full of times when we face fear straight on and need to trust Jesus with them.

I recently ran across a few short blogs on Girltalk and thought I would share a few with you. All of them deal with the fears we face as mothers. And all of them spoke to my heart and encouraged me to listen to Jesus’ words “Do not be afraid.” John 14:27

Sparrows and Sovereignty

Remembering the Big Picture

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Apr 302013

I have been thinking a lot lately about what Bissy Crosby shared last Wednesday night at the Moms Seminar: Remembering the Big Picture. I’ve also had a few moms who couldn’t be there ask about it, so I thought I would share my notes with you.

Bissy described that we either live in need of HELP or live filled with HOPE. We obviously want to live daily with hope as our anchor and yet for so many of our days we are in need of help. She said we are guaranteed a troubled, weary, anxious heart (one that needs help) when we do the following things:

1. Neglect our personal relationship with Christ.

2. Determine to neglect God’s word. Can’t find the time in a day to read the Bible.

3. Decide problems are everyone else’s fault.

4. Don’t practice reflection or confession.

5. Rush to worry about problems or challenges and stay away from prayer.

She pointed us to Psalm 90 as a way to help us remember the big picture. In verse 12, it says “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” And she shared one question that helps us remember what is most important: Is this __________ going to matter in 10,000 years? (You fill in the blank.) Will this minor issue with my child matter? Will the clean house matter? The real answer that will matter is “Are they a child of God?” And have I invested my time each day so that my children will have every chance to be a child of God?

God is the one who brings our children to himself and changes their hearts but are we leading them to Jesus as we parent? Does how we spend out time each day reveal our need of HELP or our deep trust in finding our HOPE in Jesus?

One practical idea that Julie Geyer shared with us is something that can help us remember the big picture. She has created a simple jar for each of her children. In each jar, she has placed a number of items that represent that child to her. For example, for one child she placed googly eyes because she has an eye for the creative. She has placed the number of items that represent the number of weekends that each child has left in their home. And after each weekend, she takes an item out of the jar. This has helped her “number her days” that she has left to influence and guide that child to Jesus. She shared that she made a jar for her oldest son who is already out of the house. She has placed a short pencil with no eraser in this jar to remind her that his days are gone in their home and that she can’t go back and erase the past. This also reminds her to pray for him because God is not finished writing his story in his life.

I was especially moved by this idea since I am counting down the weekends with my oldest son who will graduate this May. I’m not sure what season of life you are in, but the saying is very true that days go by slowly, but the years go by quickly. May we be mothers who determine to keep the “big picture” in front of us daily and lead our children to Jesus.

If you attended the seminar, I’d love to hear how you are applying what you heard last week.

What does it have to do with me?

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Mar 192013

I’ve spent the past 52 days reading through a devotional by Paul Tripp called Whiter than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy. In a lot of ways, these devotions have prepared my heart for Easter even though they are taken from Psalm 51. I wanted to share a few parts that have been meaningful to me and hopefully will encourage your soul as you prepare for Easter.

Day 27 “Every sin is vertical, no matter how thunderous the horizontal implications of it are. It’s God, for whom and through whom we were created to live, whose boundaries we step over, because we don’t love him the way that we should.”

My sin is first and most importantly against God. I step over his line every day and in many ways as I deal with my family, friends and co-workers.

Day 29 “Iniquity is best described as moral uncleanness. This word points to the comprehensive nature of the effect of sin on us. Sin is a moral infection that stains everything we desire, think, speak, and do…Sin is best defined as falling short of a standard. In our moments of best intention and best effort we still fall short. We’re simply unable to reach the level of the standards that God has set for us.”

My very nature is sinful, not just my actions. Every think I do is tainted by my sinful thoughts and attitudes. This can be discouraging at times but also is a good reminder that even when I think I’m doing well, I am still falling short and in need of a Savior.

Day 35 “What does it have to do with me, this private dinner in a rented room? What does it have to do with me, this basin unused with proud men at the table? What does it have to do with me, this dark garden echoing with painful prayer? What does it have to do with me, these three asleep, with a friend in torment? What does it have to do with me, this kiss of death with soldiers as witnesses? What does it have to do with me, these trumped-up charges by jealous men? What does it have to do with me, this bruised and bloody back? What does it have to do with me, this crown of thorns with flowers removed? What does it have to do with me, this Roman ruler washing his hands? What does it have to do with me, this dirty bloody man nailed to a tree? What does it have to do with me, these criminal companions hung on either side? What does it have to do with me, soldiers gambling for the clothes of the accused? What does it have to do with me, sword to the side to finish him off? What does it have to do with me, this scarred corpse placed in a borrowed crypt? What does it have to do with me, these women surprised at the body gone? What does it have to do with me, this story so removed, so long ago? What does it have to do with me, this one wise and suffering man? What does it have to do with me, Palestine graced, hope rejected? What does it have to do with me? This story is my story, each chapter is for me. This unattractive man of humble beginning and ignominious end is the Hope fo the Universe. Mercy is what it has to do with me; it is what the sin struggle of my heart, like the heart of David, requires.”

So what does Easter have to do with me? These questions reminded me that it has everything to do with me. I need a Savior. I need to be rescued from my sin. I need what Jesus did for me on the cross. I need a Redeemer who lives.

Day 36 “And so the whole redemptive story marches toward Immanuel, the Redeemer who would destroy sin’s dominion in our hearts by making our hearts the place where he, in his power, wisdom, and glory, would dwell.”

Praise be to God for Jesus!

The Prayer and Cry of a New Mom

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Feb 272013

On June 8, 2012 at 3:30 a.m. my husband and I welcomed our first child, David Henry, into the world. We were overwhelmed with joy. His birth didn’t go as planned, but he was healthy and we were thrilled to meet him. You only have to be a parent for an hour or two to realize that nothing really goes as planned. In fact, I can safely say that almost nothing went as planned for the rest of 2012. And I’ll bet that nothing in 2013 will go as planned either. I make schedules. I make plans. But somehow God gave me a baby who doesn’t fit seamlessly into my iCal. Sweet Henry pays no attention to my plans. I remember rocking (and rocking and rocking) Henry to sleep in the wee hours of the morning during the first few months. I was exhausted and clueless. I was experiencing what every parent told me I would experience, but it still seemed so unexpected. I would cry (literally) out to God, “Please! Let Henry sleep. Let me sleep. Let him stop crying, even for 10 minutes. I will take 10 minutes. Please!” And God answered my prayers with continued cries from my newborn and weeks of sleepless nights. At the time it didn’t seem like an answer at all. It seemed so hard and so long. But I kept praying, not necessarily because of my great faith, but because, in those first few months, it seemed like it was all I could do.

So here I am, eight months into motherhood. Henry sleeps more and cries less, and I will never take that for granted! But last week I had one of those situations where you go to change a diaper and it turns into a bath for the baby and a change of clothes for you. I’ll spare you the details, but I will say that it changed the course of my afternoon and kept me from doing a few things I had hoped to do. I was disappointed and exhausted. I texted a close friend and mentor to let her know why I wouldn’t be coming over and her response was, “I have been there. When you find yourself praying through those situations instead of cursing, you’ll know you have arrived. And for the record, I’m not there yet either.” That text got me thinking about how I respond to all situations in my life, in parenting, in my marriage, in my relationships with others, and in my relationship with God. Am I praying through the hard things like I prayed through those sleepless nights? Am I praying through a disagreement with my husband? Am I praying through my finances? I want my heart to be praying through all things as Paul prays for spiritual strength for the Ephesians:

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Chris Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Ephesians 3:14-21

I am not praying through every situation in my life as I should, but I want to cling to God’s promises and take advantage of the privilege of prayer. I want the glory to go to Christ, regardless of the outcome. I am making this my daily prayer for myself, for my husband, and for my son. Just because I am sleeping or just because I have a happy baby does not diminish my need for constant prayer. I am thankful for a God to invites us to come to him with all things, now I must pray for a heart that does.

My personal prayer

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Feb 192013

“Therefore as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12 This verse has been my daily prayer for the past six weeks. Let me explain why.

Our small group started a short study in January by reading a book called My One Word by Mike Ashcraft. The book explains the process of picking “one word” to focus on for the year instead of picking new year resolutions that rarely last. The idea is to ask God to help you select a character quality that you would like to see developed more in your life and then commit to focusing on what God wants to teach you through this “one word”.

After a few weeks of making my list and narrowing it down, I selected the word “patience”. It’s a long story on what led me to this word but let me tell you it did involve a few weeks of seeing impatience in my life and relationships. I did a word search in the bible to see where this word was used and then selected Colossians 3:12 as my verse to go along with my word. And then I started praying “God clothe me with patience today as I live, work and serve. Give me patience as a mother and a wife. This is what you want for your chosen people, so please give me patience in all that I do today.”

Not even a week later, God gave me a picture that I won’t quickly forget of what it looks like to NOT be patient. I was meeting with two women about ministry stuff at Kaldi’s. I decided to get hot tea instead of my normal iced tea because it was unusually cold outside. I took off the lid and let it cool a little, then promptly put the lid back on and took a big swig. And… I burned my mouth and tongue very badly. It was so burned that I couldn’t taste food for almost a week. It was awful.

About a day later as I was praying my verse, it hit me that I wouldn’t have burnt my tongue so badly had I been “patient” and waited for the tea to cool down. But an even stronger thought came through after that. When I am impatient with people or with situations, I burn others with my tongue. It leaves a bad taste for others and it lasts much longer than the moment. Just like my taste buds were affected by my impatience, so my relationships are affected by it. This image made a memorable impact on me.

So my personal prayer for 2013 is for God to clothe me with his patience throughout my day with all people and with all situations. It’s for sure not an easy prayer to lift up but one I’m confident that God will answer as my day is filled with the unexpected and filled with people that don’t always do things the way I would.

Ironically, the next two verses in Colossians 3 are about “bearing with one another” and “putting on love” which are related to “patience” and especially to how I should deal with people. I might already have my “one word” for the next two years.

The Power of a Praying Parent: My Own Experience

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Feb 072013

As you may have guessed from our previous two blog posts, our February blog focus is on prayer. Throughout this month we hope to provide you with an over arching vision for what prayer is and why it’s important along with practical ideas to encourage you and your family. As I’ve contemplated prayer, my mind has ventured back to some of my early childhood memories, most specifically with my mom.

Growing up I remember hearing the words “shy,” “sensitive, and “old soul” used quite often to describe me. I hated change. I really liked being with my family. New social settings were often times scary and full of anxiety and homesickness was a common occurrence when I found myself in a new environment. While some of this eased as I grew older, it never completely left. As afraid as I often was of new settings, I was equally afraid of drawing attention to myself. I didn’t want to cry in front of other children or cause them to think I was weird. This only led to greater anxiety that I would not be able to keep my emotions in check. Left to my own devices, I’m sure I would have just chosen to avoid those scenarios all together if it weren’t for parents who valued my longterm growth over my immediate comfort. When I walk down our Crossing Kids hallways and see children reluctant to enter/clinging a bit to mom or dad, there is more than a little genuine empathy in my heart. There is also a deep thankfulness for how my own parents responded 20+ years ago.

When I found myself in these situations throughout life, one thing remained constant–my mom’s response. Full of tender compassion, she gently didn’t just tell me what to do when I was afraid she modeled it by praying for and with me. I have distinct memories of her praying for me in the car, in front of a classroom door, before a neighbor’s birthday party, and during nights I struggled to fall asleep. As I grew older, I have even more vivid memories of tearful phone calls from camp and yes, even my first few nights away at college and on a summer long mission trip thousands of miles away. She would listen and talk through what was hard and overwhelming, but her response encouraged something far more powerful than quitting or wallowing.

From my experience, one of the most powerful gifts we can give children in the midst of any type of struggle or suffering is not an immediate “quick fix” or attempt to create an easier circumstance. It’s not a pat answer or a way to boost “self esteem.” The best thing we can do when our children experience weakness is to show them what our own immediate response should be as adults–to pray. Psalm 56:3 says, “When I am afraid, I will trust in you.” We can help even young children grasp this important truth by handling fear or any concern this way.

We can ask God for faith to trust Him. We can ask God for His peace that passes all understanding. We can remind ourselves of His power, His might, His past faithfulness. We can remind ourselves of His promise to never leave or forsake, His promise to be with us even to the very end of the age. Our words don’t have to be perfect, my mom’s weren’t. Romans 8:26 tells us that even when we don’t know how to pray, the Spirit intercedes for us.

What happens when we our first response is to pray with our children? Over time, it becomes their first response too. As Noel Piper writes in her book Treasuring God in Our Traditions,

“Perhaps the greatest value of good traditions is that through them we learn about and recognize and experience the faithfulness of our God who promises, ‘I will not leave you or forsake you’ (Joshua 1:5)…We don’t know exactly what our children’s strongest, lasting memories will be. But we do want to make sure that our daily, weekly, regularly random activities occur in a God-filled context–that we recognize him in all of our life and show him everywhere to our children.”

I believe, help my unbelief…

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Jan 172013

My small group recently began reading Battling Unbelief by John Piper (it’s the shortened version of Future Grace by the same author.) The book is all about believing the superior promises of God rather than the fleeting promises sin offers us. This week’s reading has been particularly convicting as it takes a closer look at anxiety.

If you’re like me, you may find yourself struggling under the weight of such a thing yet remain reluctant to classify and deal with it as sin. In fact, in another book Jerry Bridges identifies anxiety as a “respectable sin,” something we frequently admit to all the while rationalizing it as “not a big deal.” If you’re like me, sticking your head in the sand when it comes to this topic leads to rather lethal results. One worry snowballs into something much larger. Before long you find yourself dwelling and meditating on it to the exclusion of everything else. You begin to doubt other people or circumstances. Even worse, you begin to doubt God’s sovereignty, goodness, power, and care over both the large and small details of life.

Piper shares his own struggles authentically and shares how He combatted and continues to fight unbelief when it comes to anxiety.

“For three years I must have quoted it to myself five hundred times to get me through periods of tremendous stress. ’Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your god; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10).’ When the motor of my mind is in neutral, the hum of the gears is the sound of Isaiah 41:10.

If I’m to be honest, my mind is rarely in neutral. If I’m to be even more candid, lately the gears of my mind roar with the cares of this world more than they do scripture. I think about my daily to do list. I worry about what people think of me. I worry about what the future will hold relationally, professionally, and in every realm in between. I worry about what life will look like tomorrow. I worry about what life will look like five years from now. I believe the promise the sin of anxiety offers–that by worrying I have control. By meditating on every best and worse case scenario, I can come up with a plan or solution. I not only believe the promises of sin, but I meditate and dwell on them. In doing so I fail to believe the promises of God and the size of my sin snowball grows to the point where I feel covered in an avalanche of cares.

Last Sunday, Keith shared the promise of Romans 8:32–He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? If God provided for our greatest need by giving the greatest most costly gift of all, how can we not believe and trust that He will provide for things of lesser value and lesser cost? If He kept this most extravagant promise, why would He fail to keep the rest?

This New Year, I want my mind in neutral. I want its gears to hum scripture. In order for this to happen, though, my mind and heart need ready access to the promises of God. I can’t meditate on what I don’t know. I can’t dwell on what isn’t fresh and in the forefront of my mind. So I’m attempting to apply the grease of scriptures liberally and frequently to cogs that are somewhat caked with rust. I’ve been searching for promises that deliberately address my anxiety in various contexts. I’ve been attempting to place them in strategic places where I’m tempted to worry rather than trust or where I simply spend a decent amount of time.

Above my kitchen sink a notecard says,

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Psalm 32:8

Oh fear the LORD, oh you saints, for those who fear him have no lack! The young lions sufer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. Psalm 34:9-10

Above my bathroom sink where I get ready in the morning and brush my teeth twice a day:

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. Psalm 56:3

Cast all your anxieties on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Next to my bed taped to my alarm clock:

And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?…Therefore do not be anxious, saying, “What shall we eat?” or “What shall we drink?” or “With what shall we wear?” For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all…But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:27; 31-34

This is how we fight sin whether it be anxiety, pride, lust, or greed. As Piper so eloquently puts it,

“We fight fire with fire. We throw against the promises of sin the promises of God. We take hold of some great promise God made about our future and say to a particular sin, ‘Match that!’ In this wa we do what Paul says in Romans 8:13, ‘By the Spirit…put to death the deeds of the body.”

If you’re looking for a book that highlights God’s promises in a way that does just this, be sure to check out Battling Unbelief or Future Grace by John Piper or Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges this winter.

God’s Word is Alive and Active

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Jan 152013

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

I have found that when I read God’s word and meet with him each morning that I am amazed with the specific, pointed ways the word of God speaks directly to my life and my situations. Here is a recent personal example:

I come into the kitchen to make breakfast for my two youngest and my teenage daughter is sitting at the counter. I notice that she has made eggs for herself but hasn’t rinsed out the pan so they are slowly crusting over. I remind her that it would be helpful if she could rinse out the pan so that when someone else need it, it is easier to clean. When she walks away I notice that she doesn’t rinse out her dishes either. So right before she walks out the door, I say (she would say I yelled), “Could you please rinse out all your dishes when you are finished?” An argument ensues to the point where she is walking out the door and I’m slamming it behind her. I think to myself, “Nice way to send your daughter off for her day.”

My morning routine continues as I take my 7th grader to school, then come home to read my bible before I take my youngest to school. So then, this is what God has for me as I open my Praying the Bible for your Children:

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 1 Corinthians 13:1

Heavenly Father,

How easy it is for parents to become clanging cymbals in the ears of their kids! I feel that I love my children so much it breaks my heart some days. But You remind me that love is more than emotion. It’s possible for me to discipline, to teach, and even to provide – all without love. Guilty!

Today I pray that none of my efforts will be wasted because every aspect of my parenting is backed up by the true qualities of love:

When I feel tense and short-tempered, help me to take a deep breath and remember that love is patient (v. 4). Guilty again!

When I am wrapped up in my own to-do lists, remind me to take time to pay attention and be kind to my children (v. 4). Ouch!

When I am tempted to compare my kids with other people’s kids, help me to remember that genuine love doesn’t express itself through envying – or boasting, either (v. 4).

When i discipline or reprimand my kids, help me to check my tone of voice and my expression, remembering that love is not rude (v. 5). The sword goes deeper!

When my kids argue, beg or whine, remind me that love is always slow to anger (v. 5). And penetrates within!

When I’m at my wit’s end and tempted to give my kids a quick rundown of all the things they’ve done wrong the past few days to bring me to this point, remind me that love doesn’t keep a record of wrongs (v. 5). Right at my heart!

This devotion continues but at this point I’m on my hands and knees confessing my selfishness and lack of patience with my daughter. The word of God is alive and active right then. It pierces sharp into my heart and judges my thoughts and attitudes.God knew what I needed to hear that morning.

This is not the only time this has happened to me. It happens a lot. When I read God’s word, I find that it applies to all of my life. Sometimes immediately and sometimes it is just storing up for a day when it will be very timely. And as a parent, I have found that God’s word is almost always relevant to some situation in my day.

May you find that God’s word is alive and active in your life this year!

For Auld Lang Syne

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Dec 272012

Have you ever found yourself singing a familiar melody on December 31 a bit unsure of of what “Auld Lang Syne” is or who exactly we’re supposed to pass a cup of kindness to? While song lyrics may be lost in translation for many, most people find themselves doing exactly what the song implies. For however brief a moment, we press pause on our life to take an introspective glance at days gone by. We remember. We reflect. We don’t just stop there, however. We promise. We resolve. We try. We even try harder. Yet more often than not, we find ourselves defeated before winter has even given way to spring. The cynics among us will say, “Why bother?” The broken places of our hearts and lives might even call out accusations and condemnation. ”You’re back here again?” ”You’re still struggling with that?” As a result, we’re often tempted to despair and give up or fix the problem by pulling ourselves up by our own bootstraps and turning to our old friend, “self-discipline.”

So are resolutions good? Are they bad? Should we jump on board? Should we stay clear? Or are they morally neutral in an of themselves like most created things? Morally neutral things that can go either way depending on the heart of the person making them and the source they place their hope in? When I think about reflection and resolutions in my own life, I think of a double edged sword. One with the potential to do both harm and good to my soul depending on how I answer those questions. Am I trying to save myself? Am I looking at this through the lens of the Law or the lens of the Gospel?

The truth is that the message of the Gospel has everything to do with transformation and nothing to do with bootstraps. The message of the Gospel isn’t about being a better person but about a dead person being raised to life. Jesus reminds us in John 15 that He is the vine and we are the branches. Apart from Him we can do nothing. Perhaps the greatest question I should be asking myself isn’t what I’m resolving from, but why I feel this strong desire to change and who I’m ultimately placing my trust in.

Here are a few posts that flush out this idea far more eloquently than I can.

Happy New Year!

12 Important Questions Every Christian Should Ask Themselves Each Year
Dave Cover shared a blog post with Don Whitney’s original twelve questions a few years ago. I’ve found them helpful each year since.

Year End Thoughts from Spurgeon
But here is the joy, here is the peace of Christians, that our salvation is a finished one…

The Resolutions of Jonathan Edwards
If you’re like me, your gut reaction might be to scan this lengthy list, throw your hands up, and shout, “Yeah, right.” Instead, perhaps we should take a moment to think about how this opening line might speak to any resolutions we make.

Being sensible that I am unable to do anything without God’s help, I do humbly entreat him by his grace to enable me to keep these Resolutions, so far as they are agreeable to his will, for Christ’s sake.

Back to Square One?
Colleen Kelley, a friend of mine, shares thoughts on letting our resolutions and reflections come under God’s grace.

What is a Habit?
Ann Voskamp responds to this question by saying, “A habit is what we wear. A habit is the way we wear our days.”

The New Year Wears Hope Like a Fragrance
Another post by Ann Voskamp. ”What if all tomorrows are just more of all our yesterdays? A thousand times I’ve told myself, “I simply must try harder.”…Self-striving nurtures self-hatred. Toiling in the flesh produces foiling in the soul…The grace of His Spirit, fills our empty spots, intercedes, and gives us a fresh start every day.

Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work
“What the heart loves, the will chooses, and the mind justifies. The mind doesn’t direct the will. The mind is actually captive to what the will wants, and the will itself, in turn, is captive to what the heart wants.” -Ashley Null-

Sitting in the New Year
Two years ago, CJ Maheny’s wife and daughters posted a series called, “Sitting in the New Year” on their blog Girl Talk. The series walked through the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10 and provided practical tips for being intentional to spend time sitting at Jesus’ feet.

Giving Good Gifts

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Dec 182012

If a child asks his parents for a fish, will they give him a snake? Of course not! If people, who are not perfect, know how to give good gifts to their children, won’t God, who is perfect, do a much better job of giving good gifts to his children when they ask him? Matthew 7:10-11

This is a funny time of year as a parent. We ask our children what they want for Christmas and we do whatever we can to get them what they want. Well, everything within a reasonable price range, right? This year, when I asked, I didn’t get very many ideas from my four children. I was actually a little shocked and puzzled. What do I get for them if they don’t have anything they want?

This started me down a two week process of trying to discover how to give gifts to my children that will last and will be meaningful to them. And to help me have a proper perspective on the giving of gifts. I’ve been searching for ideas from people and other resources. I wanted to share a few things that I have found helpful.

The Gift of Simplicity and Giving to Others

One friend offered up this idea she found on a blog that she is trying with her children this year. She asked them to give her an idea for these four areas: something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read. And basically those four gifts are all they will be getting under the tree. Her reasoning is to simplify not only what she buys but also help her children focus on more than what they will get for Christmas. And the rest of the money she would normally spend on gifts, she would offer to each child to give away to someone else in need. The catch is they get to help pick how that money is spent or given. So instead of the decision being in her hands, they get to think, pray and decide on where that amount of money will go.

A Gift to Remind us of the True Gift

Another idea I ran across came from an old devotional I had from Group Publishing called Family-Time Devotions. You start by placing a wrapped gift on the dinner table (can be anything that you have already purchased for someone in the family). Pass the gift around the table and encourage each family member to guess what’s inside and explain why that’s the object guessed. Then say, I wonder what is in this present? Does anyone want to open it right now and see what’s inside? (don’t open it though)

Let’s read Luke 2:15 and see what it has to do with this present. “When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, ‘Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.’” They couldn’t wait to go see the gift.

We’ll wait until Christmas Day to find out what’s inside this present, but now we know how the shepherds must have felt. They heard about this wonderful gift God had given all mankind, and it was just minutes away in Bethlehem. They wanted to go see for themselves!

Ask: If you’d gone with the shepherds, what do you think you’d have seen? Why do you think Jesus was the most special gift?

The Gift of Time Out

Most children understand the concept of “time out”. So create your own personal “time out corner” this week before Christmas. Choose a sunny window seat, a large closet, or anyplace that affords a little quiet. Put yourself in “time out”, take along a Christmas card with a beautiful nativity scene, a special Christmas poem, your journal, your Bible, some music, etc. Quiet your heart and ponder the message of Christmas. Invite your children to find their own “time out” place to think about the wonderful gift God has given us at Christmas. It’s amazing what 5 or 10 minutes of quiet reflecting can bring out of your children. (This idea is from an advent calendar called Making Christmas Meaningful)

“God loved us all so much

He gave us His only Son to save us.

The angels sang,

The shepherds saw,

The wise men came to bow.

God knew everything we needed.

So He gave us Jesus,

The greatest gift in all the world,

Is with us now.”

-The Greatest Gift

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