I’ve been re-reading the book Everyday Talk by John Younts for our upcoming parent book discussion. It is such a great book for understanding how important the things we say to our kids “every day” makes a big difference in their faith. I thought I would share some of my favorite parts of the book.
In the first chapter of the book called Stupid Rain:
Everyday talk is talk that happens in the unplanned moments. It happens in casual, unguarded moments. It happens when you are distracted or irritated and would rather not be talking at all. It happens when you receive unexpected news, good or bad. You are always talking or thinking about things – at home or on the way to the mall, when you are driving to work or school, when you are falling asleep (or lying awake), or when you are dragging yourself out of bed in the morning. This is everyday talk.
In chapter three called Listening to your Children:
Let me repeat, it is hard to be a good listener. The pressing issues of everyday life are obstacles to good, everyday listening. You can become so focused on your own problems that you fail to be a good listener. This sort of preoccupation leads to what I call parentspeak. Parentspeak is talking without listening. This is the sort of everyday talk that damages your relationship with your kids. Most parents do this at times, sometimes without even being conscious of it.
In chapter five called Don’t be Ordinary:
Parents, when you give in to anger, resentment or self-pity at your children’s bad behavior, you make yourself the center of the problem. You are loving yourself first and most. You must love your kids enough to show them the danger of their behavior. They need to see that their first problem is with God, and only secondarily with you, as we saw in the previous chapter. You must be more concerned for them than for yourself, and you must be concerned most of all for God.
And from chapter twelve You are on Display:
The way you talk to or about your spouse is a model of instruction for your children. Your conversation is a powerful influence, either for good or for bad.
Do you children look forward to marriage? Do they want a marriage like yours? Remember that everyday talk is one of your most powerful teaching tools about marriage.
I highly recommend reading it this summer. In fact, I wish I had read this book several years ago,